92-Tricks of Communication-Leil Lowndes

technique 1 The Flooding Smile male p arntt ? ash tree an immediate smile when you greet almost ace, as though either cardinal who qualifyinged into your line of sight would be the bene? ciary. Instead, scene at the other individuals face for a second. Pa go along. Soak in their persona. thus let a heavy(a), warm, responsive smile ? ood oer your face and over? ow into your look. It provide engulf the recipient exchangeable a warm wave. The split-second delay convinces people your ? ooding smile is genuine and only for them. technique 2 Sticky eyeb either told Pretend your eyes be glued to your discourse classners with sticky warm taffy. fall apartt break eye contact thus far after he or she has ? ished let looseing. When you essential look a way, do it eer so slowly, reluctantly, stretching the gooey taffy until the tiny string ? nally breaks. proficiency 3 epoxy Eyes ( dusray distinguish baatay suntay suntay dusro declare nazray melena chahtay hai .. toh yeh trick kaam key hai ) This brazen technique packs a omnipotent punch. Watch your tar charter person even when psyche else is talking. No emergence who is speaking, keep looking at the earthly concern or woman you neediness to impact. technique 4 Hang by Your teething ( BHAIYA JI , SMILE ) Visualize a circus iron-jaw bit hanging from the frame of every door you walk through. Take a bite and, with it ? mly between your teeth, let it swoop you to the peak of the monolithic slip away. When you hang by your teeth, every muscle is stretched into perfect posture position. proficiency 5 The high-risk-Baby Pivot Give every hotshot you meet The Big-Baby Pivot. The egregious the deuce of you ar introduced, reward your new(a) acquaintance. Give the warm smile, the total- system turn, and the undivided attention you would send a tiny tyke who crawled up to your feet, turned a precious face up to yours, and beamed a galactic toothless grin. Pivoting 100 percent toward the new per son sh go forths I regard you are very, very peculiar(prenominal). technique 6 Hello Old Friend ( DOSTANA DUDE )When skirmish psyche, imagine he or she is an gray friend (an old client, an old belove, or someone else you had great(p) affection for). How sad, the vicis- situdes of life tore you two asunder. But, holy mack- erel, now the company (the meeting, the convention) has reunited you with your long-lost old friend The joyful experience give-up the ghosts a remarkable bowed stringed instrument dress in your body from the subconscious s lotsing of your eyebrows to the positioning of your toesand everything between. proficiency 7 Limit the fidget ( KHUJLEE MAT KARNA baat kartay sa may) Whenever your conversation rattling counts, let your nose tch, your ear tingle, or your foot prickle. Do not ?dget, twitch, wiggle, squirm, or scratch. And above all, keep your paws away from your puss. Hand motions near your face and all ? dgeting can give your listener the gut feeli ng youre ? bbing. technique 8 Hanss Horse Sense ( ghoday key tarah bano hamesha pehlay Sunoo, socho fir bolo) crystallise it a habit to get on a dual track opus talking. Express yourself, plainly keep a keen eye on how your listener is reacting to what youre dictateing. Then plan your moves accordingly. If a horse can do it, so can a human. muckle pass on say you plectrum up on everything. You never miss a trick.Youve got horse sense technique 9 Watch the Scene Before You Make the Scene ( be lyk RAJNIKAANTH LOL ) Re light uponse organism the super Somebody you want to be ahead of prison term. SEE yourself walking around with Hang by Your Teeth posture, shaking hands, smiling the Flooding Smile, and making Sticky Eyes. HEAR your- self chatting comfortably with everyone. FEEL the pleasance of grappleing you are in peak form and everyone is gravitating toward you. VISUALIZE yourself a Super Somebody. Then it all detects automatically. technique 10 Make a Mood Match ( YO boyzP collect a humor match bro.. ) Before opening your mouth, take a voice sample of our listener to detect his or her state of mind. Take a psychic photograph of the expression to weigh if your listener looks buoyant, bored, or blitzed. If you ever want to bring people around to your thoughts, you must match their mood and voice tone, if only for a moment. proficiency 11 Prosaic with Passion ( first impression is last impression) Worried more or less your ? rst haggle? Fear not, beca intake 80 percent of your listeners impression has nothing to do with your manner of speaking anyway. close to anything you say at ?rst is ? ne. No matter how prosaic the text, an empathetic mood, a positive demeanor, and passionate pitch quarter you lead exciting.proficiency 12 Always Wear a Whatzit ( CHENDHA KARNA ) Whenever you go to a gathering, deport or carry something unusual to give people who ? nd you the delightful stranger across the move room an plea to approach. Excuse me, I couldnt help but notice your . . . what IS that? Technique 13 Whoozat ( for starting a consversation) Whoozat is the most terminationive, least used (by non- politicians) meeting-people device ever contrived. Simply ask the party giver to make the introduction, or pump for a few facts that you can immediately turn into icebreakers. Technique 14 Eavesdrop In No Whatzit? No host for Whoozat?No problem merely move up behind the swarm of folks you want to in? l- trate and open your ears. Wait for any ? imsy excuse and jump in with Excuse me, I couldnt help but over visualize. . . . Will they be taken a patronise? Momentarily. Will they get over it? Momentarily. Will you be in the conversation? Absolutely Technique 15 Never the Naked City ( Apnay rehnay key jagah ko achi jagh say compare karna chaiyay ) supificial SAKINAKA ) Whenever someone asks you the inevitable, And w present are you from? never, ever, unfairly challenge their powers of imagination with a one-word answer. Learn some engaging facts about your homet consume hat colloquial partners can comment on. Then, when they say something clever in response to your bait, they think youre a great conversationalist. Technique 16 Never the Naked Job ( if sum1 ask what do you do? To koi raaapchik word uskay saath adjectival may daalnay apnay topic related thok daalnay ka P) When asked the inevitable And what do you do, you may think Im an economist/an educator/an engineer is giving enough information to engender good conversation. However, to one who is not an economist, educator, or an engineer, you top executive as well be saying Im a paleontologist/analyst/pornographer. Flesh it out. Throw out some delicious facts about your tune for new acquaintances to munch on. Otherwise, theyll curtly excuse themselves, preferring the snacks can at the cheese tray. Technique 17 Never the Naked Introduction ( batey karna sikhoo logotype k saamnay.. gungay key tarah khaday mat rahoo ) When introducing people, wear outt throw out an unbaited abstract and stand on that point grinning desire a big clam, leaving the newlymets to ? utter their ? ns and ? sh for a topic. Bait the conversational hook to get them in the swim of things. Then youre free to stay or ? oat on to the succeeding(prenominal) networking opportunity. Technique 18Be a Word Detective ( kaaan khullaa raknay ka,aur uski baato say hint lekar TOPIC nikaal na kaa samja kya ? ) Like a good gumshoe, listen to your conversation partners every word for clues to his or her preferred topic. The evidence is bound to slip out. Then spring on that put in like a sleuth on to a slip of the tongue. Like Sherlock Holmes, you make up the clue to the subject thats hot for the other person. Technique 19 The Swiveling Spotlight When you meet someone, imagine a giant revolving public eye between you. When youre talking, the spotlight is on you. When the new person is speaking, its shining on him or her.If you shine it brightly enough, the stranger will be blinded to the fact that you brace hardly say a word about yourself. The longer you keep it shining away from you, the much pursualing he or she ? nds you. Technique 20 Parroting Never be left speechless again. Like a parrot, scarce repeat the last few linguistic process your conversation partner says. That grades the ball right back in his or her court, and then all you need to do is listen. Technique 21 request ( Koi achaa saa kissaa apni yaaado say dusro ko batana aur puchna kya apko yeh pasand aaya , hum firsay baatay ) The sweetest sound a performer can hear welling up ut of the applause is Encore Encore allows hear it again The sweetest sound your conversation partner can hear from your lips when youre talking with a concourse of people is furcate them about the magazine you . . . Whenever youre at a meeting or party with someone important to you, think of some stories he or she told you. Choose an appropriate one from their repertoire that the crowd will enjoy. Then shine the spotlight by requesting a repeat performance. Technique 22 Ac-cen-tu-ate the Pos-i-tive ( a ache tally smile chipkaa daaalnay ka,with +tve ness haan ) When ? rst meeting someone, lock your closet door and ave your skeletons for subsequently. You and your new good friend can invite the skeletons out, pull in a good laugh, and dance over their bones later in the relationship. But nows the time, as the old melody says, to ac-cen-tu-ate the pos-i-tive and elim-i-nate the neg-a-tive. Technique 23 The Latest News . . . forefathert Leave home plate Without It ( upto date rahoo BOLE toh TIP TOP) The last move to make before leaving for the party even after youve stipulation yourself ? nal approval in the mirroris to turn on the radio news or scan your newspaper. Anything that happened today is good material. Knowing the big-deal news of the moment is lso a defensive move that rescues you from put your foot in your mouth by asking what everybodys ta lking about. Foot-in-mouth is not very choice in public, especially when its surrounded by egg-on-face. The Right Way to Find Out So how do you ? nd out what someone does for a living? (I thought youd never ask. ) You evidently practice the following eight words. All unneurotic now How . . . do . . . you . . . spend . . . most . . . of . . . your . . . time? Technique 24 What Do You DoNOT A sure sign youre a Somebody is the conspicuous ab- sence of the question, What do you do? (You deter- ine this, of course, but not with those four dirty words that pit you as either a ruthless networker, a social climber, a gold-digging husband or married woman hunter, or someone whos never strolled along Easy Street. ) Technique 25 The Nutshell Resume (apna character reference bhale he acha ho , alag alag log say miltay ho apna parichay badaltay raheyay lekin woh topic apna original ho) Just as job-seeking top managers roll a different written resume dour their printers for each position theyre applying for, let a different true story about your professional life roll transfer your tongue for each listener. Before responding to What do you do? ask yourself, What possible interest could this person have in my answer? Could he refer business to me? Buy from me? Hire me? Marry my sister? endure my buddy? Wherever you go, pack a nutshell about your own life to work into your communications grip of tricks. Technique 26 Your Personal Thesaurus ( dude means that u shud use different words of uniform meaning in A COOL dude way ) Look up some common words you use every day in the thesaurus. Then, like slipping your feet into a new pair of shoes, slip your tongue into a few new words to see how they ? t. If you like them, start making permanent replacements.Remember, only ? fty words makes the difference between a rich, creative vocabulary and an average, middle-of-the-road one. Substitute a word a day for two months and youll be in the verbally elite. Technique 27 Kill the Quick Me, Too ( jaldee mat kehna, mujay bhee but thoda wait karna chaiyay fir thoday tym k baad kehna chaiyay ) Whenever you have something in common with someone, the longer you wait to find it, the more moved (and impressed) he or she will be. You emerge as a con? dent big cat, not a lonely dwarfish stray, hungry for quick connection with a stranger. P. S. Dont wait too long to reveal your shared nterest or it will seem like youre existence tricky. Technique 28 Comm-YOU-nication ( pehlay aap ) set dour every appropriate sentence with you. It immedi- ately grabs your listeners attention. It gets a more positive response because it pushes the pride button and saves them having to translate it into me terms. When you sprinkle you as liberally as salt and pepper throughout your conversation, your listeners ?nd it an irresistible spice. Technique 29 The Exclusive Smile (use happydent sumtym LOL,issmile usee ko do JO hamay pasand aae ) If you ? ash everybody the same smile, l ike a Confed- erate dollar, it loses value.When meeting groups of people, grace each with a distinct smile. Let your smiles bring on out of the viewer big players ? nd in each new face. If one person in a group is more important to you than the others, reserve an especially big, ? ooding smile equitable for him or her. Technique 30 Dont Touch a Cliche with a Ten-Foot Pole ( koi NOOB jaisa word mat bhakna) Be on guard. Dont use any cliches when chatting with big winners. Dont even touch one with a ten-foot pole. Never? non even when hell freezes over? not unless you want to sound black as a doorknob. Instead of coughing up a cliche, roll your own clever phrases by u blether the adjoining technique.Technique 31 Use Jawsmiths Jive (Rhymin words but u Gotta be cool and only U ) Whether youre standing behind a podium set about thousands or behind the barbecue grill facing your family, youll move, amuse, and motivate with the same skills. Read speakers books to cull quotations, ex press pearls of wisdom, and get gems to tickle their funny bones. Find a few bon mots to let casually slide off your tongue on chosen occasions. If you want to be notable, dream up a crazy quotable. Make em rhyme, make em clever, or make em funny. Above all, make em relevant. Technique 32 Call a Spade a Spade ( tender log ko bade key tarah he maana chaiyay.. Dont hide behind euphemisms. Call a spade a spade. That doesnt mean big cats use tasteless four-letter words when perfectly decent ? ve- and six-letter ones exist. Theyve simply cozy the Kings English, and they speak it. Heres another way to tell the big players from the fiddling ones just by listening to a few minutes of their conversation. Technique 33 Trash the bedevil ( kabhe bhe group talk may paiso so related Kisee aadmi par topic ya parody nahe karna chaiyay ) A drained giveaway of a little cat is his or her proclivity to tease. An innocent joke at someone elses expense may get you a cheap laugh. Nevertheless, the big cats will ave the last one. Because youll flak your head against the glass ceiling they construct to keep little cats from stepping on their paws. Never, ever, make a joke at anyone elses expense. Youll wind up paying for it, dearly. Technique 34 Its the Receivers Ball ( bad news ko smile,a relaxd whali breath k saath yaa thoda udaaseen ho expression kum he dikha kar batana chaiyay) A football player wouldnt last two beats of the time clock if he make blind passes. A pro throws the ball with the receiver always in mind. Before throwing out any news, keep your receiver in mind. Then deliver it with a smile, a sigh, or a sob. Not ccording to how you feel about the news, but how the receiver will take it. Technique 35 The Broken phonograph record (Pagaal ko log ko PAGAL banaanay ka ek he tarekaa,unchaahe baat puchnay par ek he baat ka REPETITION key jiyay) Whenever someone persists in questioning you on an unwel lie with subject, simply repeat your original response. Use precise ly the same words in precisely the same tone of voice. collecting it again usually quiets them down. If your rude interrogator hangs on like a leech, your next repetition never fails to ? ick them off. Technique 36 Big Shots Dont Slobber (fatnesstu log key tarah mat khaday raynaTAREEF jaldee say na karna.. alkee yeh kehna aap nay yeh sab kia mujay essay khushii mile DHANYAWAAD) .. People who are very important persons in their own right dont slobber over celebrities. When you are chatting with one, dont compliment her work, simply say how such(prenominal) pleasure or insight its given you. If you do single out any one of the stars accomplishments, make sure its a recent one, not a storehouse thats getting yellow in her scrapbook. If the sprite bee has a drone sitting with her, ? nd a way to involve him in the conversation. Technique 37 Never the Naked Thank You ( thankU ko dilsay badachadakar bolo) Never let the phrase thank you stand alone. From A o Z, always follow it with f or from Thank you for asking to Thank you for zipping me up. Technique 38 Scramble Therapy ( do sumthin CRAZY bro ) Once a month, scramble your life. Do something youd never dream of doing. Participate in a sport, go to an exhibition, hear a lecture on something totally out of your experience. You get 80 percent of the right lingo and insider questions from just one exposure. If you take a piece of morose litmus test paper and dip it in a huge vat of acid, the tip turns pink. If you take another blue litmus paper and dip it into just one minuscule drop of acid on a glass slide, the tip turns just as pink.Compare this to participating in an activity just one time. A sampling gives you 80 percent of the conversa- tional value. You short-change the insiders questions to ask. You start using the right terms. Youll never be at a loss again when the subject of extracurricular interests beats upwhich it always does. Technique 39 Learn a Little Jobbledygook ( dude u gotta show interest in their lyf interest abt things which they lyk) Big winners speak Jobbledygook as a second language. What is Jobbledygook? Its the language of other professions. Why speak it? It makes you sound like an insider. How do you learn it? Youll ? d no Jobbledygook cassettes in the language section of your book gillyflower, but the lingo is easy to pick up. Simply ask a friend who speaks the lingo of the crowd youll be with to teach you a few opening questions. The words are few and the rewards are manifold. Technique 40 Baring Their Hot Button (PEOPLE k characters and status ko dekhkar achay saawal pucho widout TENSION) Before jumping blindly into a bevy of bookbinders or a drove of dentists, ? nd out what the hot issues are in their ? elds. Every effort has burning c erstrns the outside world knows little about. Ask your informant to bare the industry buzz.Then, to heat the conversation up, push those buttons. Technique 41 Read Their Rags ( uska man pasand hobby dekho uskay bare may ja ankar eekata karoo) Is your next big client a golfer, runner, swimmer, surfer, or skier? Are you attending a social control ? lled with accountants or Zen Buddhistsor anything in between? there are untold thousands of monthly magazines military service every imaginable interest. You can dish up more information than youll ever need to sound like an insider with anyone just by reading the rags that serve their racket. (Have you read your latest copy of Zoonooz yet? ) Technique 42Clear Customs Before putting one toe on foreign soil, get a book on dos and taboos around the world. Before you shake hands, give a gift, make gestures, or even compliment anyones possessions, check it out. Your gaffe could gum up your entire gig. Technique 43 Bluffing for Bargains ( dude u wanna know the thing ,whaz it ? then buy it) PUCHtaach karo The haggling skills used in ancient Arab markets are alive and well in contemporary America for big-ticket items. Your price is much lower when you know how to deal. Before every big purchase, ? nd several vendorsa few to learn from and one to buy from. Armed with a ew words of industryese, youre ready to head for the store where youre going to buy. Technique 44 Be a Copyclass Watch people. Look at the way they move. Small movements? Big movements? Fast? Slow? Jerky? Fluid? Old? Young? Classy? cheap? Pretend the person you are talking to is your danc instructor. Is he a jazzy mover? Is she a balletic mover? Watch his or her body, and then imitate the style of movement. That makes your conversation partner subliminally real homy with you. Technique 45 Echoing Echoing is a simple linguistic technique that packs a sinewy wallop. Listen to the speakers arbitrary choice f nouns, verbs, prepositions, adjectivesand echo them back. perceiveing their words come out of your mouth creates subliminal sonorousness. It makes them feel you share their values, their attitudes, their interests, their experiences. Technique 46 hard Imaging Does your customer have a garden? Talk about sowing the seeds for success. Does your boss own a boat? Tell him or her about a concept that will hold water or stay a? oat. Maybe he is a private pilot? Talk about a concept really taking off. She plays tennis? Tell her it really hits the sweet spot. Evoke your listeners interests or life style and weave images around it.To give your points more power and punch, use analogies from your listeners world, not your own. Potent Imaging also tells your listeners you think like them and hints you share their interests. Technique 47 Employ Empathizers Dont be an unconscious ummer. Vocalize complete sentences to show your understanding. Dust your dialogue with phrases like I see what you mean. Sprinkle it with sentimental sparklers like Thats a lovely thing to say. Your empathy impresses your listeners and encourages them to continue. Technique 48 anatomically Correct Empathizers What part of their anatomy are your associates talking through? Their eyes?Their ears? Their gut? For visual people, use visual empathizers to make them think you see the world the way they do. For auditory folks, use auditory empathizers to make them think you hear them loud and easy. For kinesthetic types, use kinesthetic empathizers to make them think you feel the same way they do. 49 How to Make Em Think We (Instead of You vs. Me ) 1. direct One Cliches Two strangers talking together primarily toss cliches back and forth. For instance, when chatting about the universally agreed- upon worlds dullest subjectthe weatherone stranger might say to the other, Beautiful sunny weather weve been having. Or, Boy, some rain, huh? Thats level one, cliches. 2. Level Two Facts People who know each other but are just acquaintances a great deal dis- beaten(prenominal) facts. You know, Joe, weve had twice as many sunny days this year to date as last. Or, Yeah, well, we ? nally decided to put in a go pool to beat the heat. 3. Level Three Feelings and Perso nal Questions When people draw friends, they often express their feelings to each other, even on subjects as dull as the weather. George, I just love these sunny days. They also ask each other personal ques- tions How about you, Betty? Are you a sun person? 4. Level Four We StatementsNow we progress to the highest level of intimacy. This level is richer than facts and creates more rapport than feelings. Its we and us statements. Friends discussing the weather might say, If we keep having this good weather, itll be a great summer. Lovers might say, I hope this good weather keeps up for us so we can go swimming on our trip. A technique to achieve the ultimate verbal intimacy grows out of this phenomenon. Simply use the word we prematurely. You can use it to make a client, a prospect, a stranger feel you are already friends. Use it to make a potential romantic partner feel the two of you are already an item.I call it the Premature We. In casual conversation, simply cut through le vels one and two. Jump straight to three and four. Chemistry, charisma, and con? dence are three characteristics shared by big winners in all walks of life. Part One helped us make a dynamic, con? dent, and charismatic ? rst impression with body language. In Part Two, we put smooth small-talk lyrics to our body ballet. Then in Part Three, we seized hints from the big boys and big girls so were contenders for lifes big league. Part Four rescued us from being tongue-tied with folks with whom we have very lit- tle in common.And in Part Five, we learned techniques to create min chemistry, instant intimacy, instant rapport. Mind boggling, isnt it? Sociologists research shows 1) a com- pliment from a new person is more potent than from someone you already know, 2) your compliment has more credibility when given to an unattractive person or an attractive person whose face youve never seen, 3) you are taken more seriously if you preface your comments by some self-effacing remarkbut only if your listener perceives you as higher on the totem pole. If youre lower, yourself-effacing remark reduces your credibility.Complicated, this complimenting rack. Technique 51 Grapevine Glory A compliment one hears is never as exciting as the one he overhears. A priceless way to cheering is not by telephone, not by telegraph, but by tell-a-friend. This way you escape possible suspicion that you are an apple-polishing, bootlicking, egg-sucking, back- dinero sycophant trying to win brownie points. You also leave recipients with the happy fantasy that you are notice the whole world about their greatness. Technique 52 Carrier Pigeon Kudos People immediately grow a beak and metamorphosize themselves into postman pigeons when theres bad news. Its called gossip. ) Instead, befit a carrier of good news and kudos. Whenever you hear something complimentary about someone, ? y to them with the compliment. Your fans may not posthumously stuff you and put you on display in a museum like Stum py Joe. But everyone loves the carrier pigeon of physical body thoughts. Carry More Cargo than Compliments Another way to warm hearts and win friends is to become a car- rier pigeon of news items that might interest the recipient. Call, mail, or E-mail people with information they might ? nd interesting. Technique 53 Implied Magnificence Throw a few comments into your conversation that resuppose something positive about the person youre talking with. But be careful. Dont blow it like the well- intentioned maintenance man. Or the southern boy who, at the prom, thought he was ? attering his date when he told her, Gosh, Mary Lou, for a fat gal you dance real good. Technique 54 Accidental Adulation Become an undercover complimenter. stealthily sneak praise into the parenthetical part of your sentence. Just dont try to quiz anyone later on your main point. The joyful jolt of your accidental adulation strikes them temporarily deaf to anything that follows. Technique 55 Killer Compliment Whenever you are talking with a stranger youd like to make part of your professional or personal future, search for one attractive, speci? c, and unique quality he or she has. At the end of the conversation, look the individual right in the eye. Say his or her fix and proceed to handbuild all ten toes with the Killer Compliment. chance 1 Deliver your Killer Compliment to the recipi- ent in private. If you are standing with a group of four or ? ve people and you praise one woman for being ? t, every other woman feels like a barrel of lard. If you tell one man he has wonderful carriage, every other feels like a hunchback.You also make the blushing recipient uncomfortable. Rule 2 Make your Killer Compliment credible. For example, Im tone-deaf. If Im forced to sing even a simple song like Happy Birthday, I sound like a sick pig. If anyone in earshot were foolish enough to tell me they liked my voice, Id know it was hogwash. Rule 3 Confer only one Killer Compliment per half year on ea ch recipient . Otherwise you come across as insincere, groveling, obsequious, pandering, and a thoroughly manipulative person. Not cool. With careful aim, the Killer Compliment captures everyone. It works best, however, when you use it judiciously on new cquaintances. If you want to praise friends every day, employ the next technique. Technique 56 Little Strokes Dont make your colleagues, your friends, your loved ones look at you and silently say, Havent I been pretty good today? Let them know how much you appreciate them by caressing them with verbal Little Strokes like Nice job Well done Cool Technique 57 The Knee-Jerk Wow Quick as a blink, you must praise people the moment they a ? nish a feat. In a wink, like a knee-jerk reaction say, You were terri? c Dont worry that they wont believe you. The euphoria of the moment has a strangely numbing effect n the achievers objective judgment. Technique 58 Boomeranging Just as a boomerang ? ies right back to the thrower, let complime nts boomerang right back to the giver. Like the French, quickly murmur something that expresses Thats very kind of you. Technique 59 The Tombstone plot of land Ask the important people in your life what they would like engraved on their tombstone. Chisel it into your memory but dont mention it again. Then, when the moment is right to say I appreciate you or I love you, ? ll the blanks with the very words they gave you weeks earlier. You take peoples breath away when you supply their eepest self-image to them in a compliment. At last, they say to themselves, someone who loves me for who I truly am. Technique 60 talk Gestures Think of yourself as the star of a personal radio drama every time you pick up the phone. If you want to come across as engaging as you are, you must turn your smiles into sound, your nods into echo, and all your gestures into something your listener can hear. You must replace your gestures with talk. Then punch up the whole act 30 percent Technique 61 Name Shower People perk up when they hear their own name. Use it more often on the phone than you would in person to eep their attention. Your callers name re-creates the eye contact, the caress, you might give in person. Saying someones name repeatedly when face-to-face sounds pandering. But because there is physical distance between you on the phonesometimes youre a conti- nent apartyou can spray your conversation with it. Technique 62 Oh Wow, Its You Dont answer the phone with an Im just sooo happy all the time attitude. Answer warmly, crisply, and professionally. Then, after you hear who is calling, let a huge smile of happiness engulf your entire face and spill over into your voice. You make your caller feel as hough your giant warm fuzzy smile is reserved for him or her. Technique 63 The Sneaky Screen If you must screen your calls, instruct your staff to ? rst say cheerfully, Oh yes, Ill put you right through. May I tell her whos calling? If the party has already identi? ed him self, its Oh of course, Mr. Whoozit. Ill put you right through. When the secretary comes back with the bad news that Mr. or Ms. bigwig is unavailable, callers dont take it personally and never feel screened. They fall for it every time, just like I did. Technique 64 Salute the Spouse Whenever you are calling someones home, always identify nd greet the person who answers. Whenever you call someones of? ce more than once or twice, make friends with the secretary. Anybody who is close enough to answer the phone is close enough to sway the VIPs opinion of you. Technique 65 What Color Is Your quantify? No matter how urgent you think your call, always begin by asking the person about measure. Either use the What Color Is Your Time? device or simply ask, Is this a convenient time for you to talk? When you ask about timing ? rst, youll never smash your footprints right in the middle of your telephone partners sands of time. Youll never get a No just because your timing wasnt right. How to Impress Everyone with Your Outgoing Voicemail Message And heres the secret to give the impression you are really on top of your business, change your kernel every day. Studies show that callers perceive people to be brighter and more ef? cient when they hear an updated message each time they call. If appropriate, let callers know where you are and when you intend to be back. If you have customers who need to be attended to, this is crucial. Technique 66 Constantly Changing Outgoing Message If you want to be perceived as scrupulous and eliable, leave a short, professional, and friendly greeting as your outgoing message. No music. No jokes. No inspirational messages. No boasts, bells, or whistles. And heres the secret change it every day. Your message doesnt have to be ? awless. A little cough or stammer gives a lovely unpretentious realness to your message Technique 67 Your Ten-Second Audition ( just keep in suspense. ) While dialing, clear your throat. If an answering machine picks up, pretend the beep is a big Broadway producer saying Nexxxt. Now youre on. This is Your Ten-Second Audition to prove you are worthy of a quick callback.Technique 68 The Ho-Hum joke Instead of using your partys name, casually let the pronoun he or she roll off your tongue. Forget Uh, may I speak to Ms. Bigshot please? Just announce, Hi, Bob Smith here, is she in? Tossing the familiar she off your tongue signals to the secretary that you and her boss are old buddies. Technique 69 I Hear Your Other Line(I can hear U other lynkuch kaam hai apko ussay..? When you hear a phone in the background, stop speakingin midsentence, if necessaryand say I hear your other line, (or your dog barking, your baffle crying, your spouse calling you). Ask whether she has o attend to it. Whether she does or not, shell know youre a top communicator for asking. Technique 70 Instant Replay Record all your business conversations and listen to them again. The second or third time, you pick up on si gni? cant subtleties you missed the ? rst time. Its like football fans who often dont know if there was a fumble until they see it all over again in Instant Replay. Use the Six-Point Party Checklistthe Who? When? Why? Where? What? and How? of a partyas your general bouncing plan. Now lets get down to speci? cs. Technique 71 Munching or Mingling Politicians want to be eyeball to eyeball and belly to elly with their constituents. Like any big winner well versed in the science of proxemics and spatial relationships, they know any object except their belt buckle has the effect of a brick wall between two people. Therefore they never hold food or subscribe at a party. Come to munch or come to mingle. But do not stock to do both. Like a good politician, chow down before you come. Technique 72 rubbernecker the Room When you arrive at the gathering, stop dramatically in the doorway. Then s-l-o-w-l-y survey the situation. Let your eyes travel back and forth like a SWAT team ready in a he artbeat to wipe out anything that moves.Technique 73 Be the Chooser, Not the Choosee( baagha key tarah khaday mat raho.. jo bakra pasaand aaya usko manaao) The long friend, the love of your life, or the business contact who will transform your future may not be at the party. However, someday, somewhere, he or she will be. Make every party a rehearsal for the big event. Do not stand around waiting for the moment when that special person approaches you. You make it happen by exploring every face in the room. No more ships passing in the night. Capture any(prenominal) or whomever you want in your life. Technique 75 Tracking Like an air-traf? controller, track the tiniest details of your conversation partners lives. Refer to them in your conversation like a major news story. It creates a power- ful sense of intimacy. When you posit the last major or boor event in anyones life, it con? rms the deep credence that he or she is an old-style hero around whom the world revolves. And peop le love you for recognizing their stardom. Technique 76 The business enterprise Card Dossier Right after youve talked to someone at a party, take out your pen. On the back of his or her business card write notes to remind you of the conversation his favorite restaurant, sport, movie, or drink whom she dmires, where she grew up, a high school honor or maybe a joke he told. In your next communication, toss off a reference to the favorite restaurant, sport, movie, drink, hometown, high school honor. Or reprieve the laugh over the great joke. Like a sales pro, ask yourself, How can I change the subject to turn this person on? Technique 77 Eyeball Selling The human body is a twenty-four-hour broadcasting station that transmits You thrill me. You bore me. I love that aspect of your product. That one puts my feet to sleep. Set the inexplicable cameras behind your eyeballs to pick up on all your customers and friends signals.Then plan your pitch and your pace accordingly. Technique 7 8 See No Bloopers, Hear No Bloopers Cool communicators allow their friends, associates, acquaintances, and loved ones the pleasurable romance of being above commonplace bloopers and embarrassing biological functions. They simply dont notice their comrades minor spills, slips, fumbles, and faux pas. They obviously ignore raspberries and all other signs of human frailty in their fellow mortals. Big winners never gape at anothers gaffes. Technique 79 Lend a aid Tongue Whenever someones story is aborted, let the interrup- tion play itself out.Give everyone time to dote on the little darling, give their dinner order, or pick up the jagged pieces of china. Then, when the group reassembles, simply say to the person who suffered story-interruptus, Now please get back to your story. Or better yet, remember where they were and then ask, So what happened after the . . . (and ? ll in the last few words). When asking someone for a favor, let them know how mu t means to you. You come across a s a straight shooter, and the joy of helping you out is often reward enough. Dont deny them th leasure Technique 80 Bare the Buried WIIFM (and WIIFY)Whenever you aim a meeting or ask a favor, divulge the respective bene? ts. Reveal whats in it for you and whats in it for the other personeven if its zip. If any hidden agenda comes up later, you get labeled a sly fox. Technique 81 Let Em Savor the favour Whenever a friend agrees to a favor, allow your generous buddy time to relish the joy of his or her bene? cence before you make them pay the piper. How long? At least twenty-four hours. Technique 82 nipple for (Wait . . . Wait) Tat When you do someone a favor and its obvious that he owes you one, wait a suitable amount of time before asking him to pay. Let him enjoy the fact (or ? ction) that you did it out of friendship. Dont call in your tit for their tat too swiftly(fastly). Technique 83 Parties Are for Pratter There are three sacred safe havens in the human jungle where even th e toughest tiger knows he must not attack. The ? rst of these is parties. Parties are for pleasantries and good fellowship, not for confrontations. Big players, even when standing next to their enemies at the buffet table, smile and nod. They leave tough talk for tougher settings. Technique 84 Dinners for eat The most guarded safe haven respected by big winners is the dining table.Breaking carbohydrate together is a time when they bring up no unpleasant matters. While eating, they know its OK to brainstorm and discuss the positive side of the business their dreams, their desires, their designs. They can free associate and come up with new ideas. But no tough business. Technique 85 Chance Encounters Are for gabfest If youre selling, negotiating, or in any sensitive communication with someone, do NOT capitalize on a chance meeting. Keep the melody of your mistaken meeting sweet and light. Otherwise, it could turn into your swan song with Big Winner. Technique 86 Empty Their TanksIf you need information, let people have their entire say ?rst. Wait patiently until their needle is on empty and the last drop drips out and splashes on the cement. Its the only way to be sure their tank is empty enough of their own inner noise to start receiving your ideas. Technique 87 Echo the Emo Facts speak. Emotions shout. Whenever you need facts from people about an aflame situation, let them emote. Hear their facts but empathize like mad with their emotions. Smearing on the emo is often the only way to calm their emotional storm. Technique 88 My Goof, Your Gain Whenever you make a boner, make sure your victim ene? ts. Its not enough to plant your mistake. Ask yourself, What could I do for this suffering soul so he or she will be delighted I made the ? ub? Then do it, fast In that way, your goof will become your gain. Technique 89 Leave an Escape Hatch Whenever you catch someone lying, ? lching, exagger- ating, distorting, or deceiving, dont confront the dirty duck directly . Unless it is your responsibility to catch or correct the culpritor unless you are saving other innocent victims by doing solet the transgressor out of your trap with his tricky puss in one piece. Then resolve never to gaze upon it again. Technique 90Buttercups for Their Boss ( makhhan maarkay) Do you have a store clerk, accountant, law ? rm junior partner, tailor, auto mechanic, maitre d, massage therapist, kids teacheror any other worker you want special attention from in the future? The sure? re way to make them care enough to give you their very best is send a buttercup to their boss. Technique 91 Lead the Listeners No matter how prominent the big cat behind the podium is, crouched inside is a little scaredy-cat who is anxious about the crowds acceptance. Big winners recognize youre a fellow big winner when they see you leading their listeners in a positive eaction. Be the ? rst to applaud or publicly commend the man or woman you agree with (or want favors from). Big winnersbef ore putting pen to paper, ? ngers to key- board, mouth to phone, or hand to someone elses to shake it do a quick calculation. They ask themselves Who has the most to bene? t from this relationship? What has each of us done recently that demands deference from the other? And what can I do to even the score? Remember, repeating an action makes a habit. Your habits create your character. And your character is your destiny. May success be your destiny. Cheer UP bro. ***************